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Love in 90 Days The Dating Recession Is Real — And It’s Actually Good News for You

Dating Recession in your life? Let me ask you something. You’ve built a remarkable life. A career that reflects your intelligence and drive. A home you love. A circle of friends who know your worth. You’ve weathered storms — professional setbacks, perhaps a divorce or the slow fade of a long relationship, the peculiar loneliness…

The post The Dating Recession Is Real — And It’s Actually Good News for You appeared first on Love in 90 Days.
Love in 90 Days - Dating Tips, Relationship Advice


Mar-13-2026

Refinery29 The Kama Sutra Sex Positions You Didn’t Know Existed
When Indian philosopher Vatsyayana was writing the ancient Sanskrit text that would be known as the Kama Sutra a few thousand years ago, there's no way he could have anticipated the impact his work would have on the world. Nowadays, the words “Kama Sutra” are often solely associated with sex positions or the text being a so-called “sex manual.” Somewhere down the line (and definitely due to more than a little orientalism), the non-sex parts of the Kama Sutra got forgotten, and the sex parts got expanded upon — in some cases, totally reinvented (as shocking as it may seem, Vatsyayana did not write about sex acts involving detachable shower heads).

What is the Kama Sutra?

If it seems strange that a 2,000-year-old text continues to carry such an impact on our erotic imaginations, it gets even stranger when you realize that most of the Kama Sutra isn’t actually about sex.

What does the Kama Sutra say about sex?

Unlike the many hot-and-heavy sex guides that bear its name, the original Kama Sutra is a philosophical text offering musings on how to have a rewarding life and fruitful relationships; to the extent that it’s a “sex manual,” it’s mostly because it doesn’t shy away from the notion that sex (and interesting sex positions) is a healthy and normal part of life. Of course, given that this is a 2,000-year-old text, it’s very heteronormative and cisgender. While queer sex and non-binary gender identities do make appearances in the text, the general assumption was that the reader’s primary sexual relationship would be a heterosexual one — but that won’t be the case here.

So what’s actually in the original Kama Sutra? A wide variety of stuff — including, yes, lots of sex positions. Let’s take a look at the sex positions endorsed by the ancient tome.

This article was originally published in July 2021 and has since been updated.

Utphallaka (Blossoming)



“The blossoming is realized by lowering the [vulva owner’s] head and raising [their] vagina,” writes Vatsyayana of a position that’s somewhere between a glute bridge and missionary. What’s the point of elevating your vulva over your head (aside from getting a sweet core workout mid-sex)?

To understand, it helps to learn a little bit more about one of the Kama Sutra’s obsessions: relative penis and vagina size. According to the text, penises and vaginas both come in three variations. A penis might be a hare, a bull, or a stallion, while a vagina might be a doe, a mare, or a cow-elephant. If a penis and vagina aren’t well matched in size, that can spell doom — though positions like utphallaka are intended to help a smaller vagina open up to accommodate a larger member.

Indranika (Queen Of Heaven)



Another entrant into the catalog of positions intended to ease a vagina open, the "Queen of Heaven" (which, the text notes, requires practice) involves [a person with a penis] wrapping [their] thighs around [their]  partner and opening the vagina with his hands. The name is apparently an ode to the wife of Indra, the King of Heaven, who is credited with inventing this position.Illustrated by: Paola Delucca
Blossoming (utphallaka) Illustrated by: Paola Delucca

Veshititaka (Envelopment)



The Kama Sutra isn’t just concerned with helping smaller vaginas fit with large penises; it also takes very seriously the task of helping vaginas and smaller penises find pleasure when paired together. There are a number of ways to do this, according to the text, but one of the most interesting is "envelopment," which involves the [person with the vulva] crossing [their] legs, one over the other, while being penetrated.
Illustrated by: Paola Delucca

Vijrimbhitaka (Expanding)



If you’ve ever taken an exercise class and thought to yourself mid-leg lift, Gosh, wouldn’t it be great if I were getting railed right now?, then this position is definitely for you. Another strategy in the catalog of ways to help a vagina pair well with an extra-large package, “expanding” seems like it would get exhausting pretty quick. But maybe that’s part of why you’re in the gym doing all those leg lifts in the first place.Illustrated by: Paola Delucca

Vadavaka (Mare)



The “mare” is a complex sex position wherein the vagina seizes the penis “without moving.” Confused? The commentary expands upon this description to note that, like a mare with a stallion, this position involves sliding the penis into the vagina without any kissing or embracing, in cowperson style.
Illustrated by: Paola Delucca

Venudaritaka (The Broken Flute)



After its lengthy exploration of how to have good sex (even if you’re struggling with a supposedly mismatched penis-and-vagina set), the Kama Sutra turns to a different realm of positions — one that might align a little bit more with the popular vision of more explorative Kama Sutra sex. One of my favorites would have to be the "broken flute," which involves [the receiving partner] lying down, putting [their] foot on [their] partner’s shoulder, and then taking it off and putting the other foot on [their] other shoulder, like some sort of mid-coital Rockette.Illustrated by: Paola Delucca

Shulachitaka (Impalement) 



No wait, I lied: shulachitaka is my actual favorite. In this position, the receiving partner places one foot on the penetrating partner’s head and, extending the other leg, allows themself to be penetrated, according to the text. The text also notes that this position requires practice, which may be the most obvious statement ever uttered about a sex position.

Illustrated by: Paola Delucca

Padmasana (Lotus) 



This position, referred to as the “lotus,” is probably one of the most common Kama Sutra positions you’ll encounter in sex position guides these days. In padmasana, one partner (typically the penetrating one) sits with their legs criss-crossed, while the other partner faces them and lowers into their lap. This flexibility-requiring position is often celebrated for the amount of intimacy it promotes. With both partners facing each other and wrapping their legs around each other, it gets pretty up close and personal.Illustrated by: Paola Delucca

Paravrittaka (The Spin)



Delving further into the territory of “wait, what?” sex positions is "the spin," which involves the receiving partner perching backwards over their seated paramour, then getting spun around 180 degrees, penis still inside them. If you’re starting to think that maybe pleasure for those with vulvas wasn’t the primary goal of the Kama Sutra, you wouldn’t be wrong. Early in the text, commentary notes that “only lesbians have no problems” — and while this is technically referring to the idea that heterosexual women supposedly didn’t have time to study religion, economy, erotic science, and music (because they’re too busy catering to their husbands’ needs), it seems like an apt response to some of these sex positions, too.Illustrated by: Paola Delucca

Sthitarata (Standing) 



As strange as "the spin" might seem, it’s actually considered a standard sex position in the Kama Sutra: The “unusual or special sexual practices” don’t start until we get to standing sex (why that’s considered weirder than putting your foot on your partner’s head has been lost to the ages).

In the basic version of this position, both partners stand while leaning against a wall or column. If you want to up the ante, however, there’s a variation where the receiving partner lifts their legs, places their feet into the palms of their partner’s hands and holds on for dear life as the penetrating partner  thrusts away. There’s no aphrodisiac quite like the fear of someone dropping you mid-thrust, right?Illustrated by: Paola Delucca

Avalambitaka (Hanging)



If that standing variation seems a little too risky, but you’re still in the market for a position that allows one partner to lean against a wall, the “hanging” position is here for you. It’s more or less the same as standing, but instead of relying on a partner’s capricious grip to support their entire weight, the receiving partner  rests their feet up against a nice, sturdy wall. Sure, it’s not easy, but it is easier.Illustrated by: Paola Delucca

Dhenuka (The Cow) 



These days, we call this from-behind position doggy style, but back in the era of the Kama Sutra, it was known as “the cow.” But lest you think there’s only one animal worth imitating in the sack, the text goes on to note that “one can imitate other animals, mounting the [receiving partner] like an ass, playing with [them] like a cat, attacking like a tiger, stamping like an elephant, pawing the ground like a pig, riding horse-fashion. Thus, one learns a thousand ways to copulate."Illustrated by: Paola Delucca

Peasant



(For context on the next two positions’ titles, India has long been a class conscious society, so some of the Kama Sutra commentary divides sex into “city” and “country” styles.)
In this position, the receiving partner sits on their lover’s lap while facing away and opens their thighs. You can basically think of it as a seated reverse rider position. Illustrated by: Paola Delucca

City Dweller



In this position, the receiving partner sits on their partner’s lap — face to face this time — and wraps their legs around their partner’s waist.


Illustrated by: Paola Delucca

Pitcher



The book describes this position as involving the receiving partner being taken from behind while bent in three. Sounds like doggy style to me, but you be the judge.Illustrated by: Paola Delucca

Parshva Samputa (Lateral Box) 



Not every Kama Sutra position is particularly “wild,” or even all that involved. The “box” is merely defined as doing it face to face. In “lateral box,” the couple lies on their sides while making eye contact (and genital contact). There’s a good chance you’ve tried this one out on your own already. It’s one of those classic “lazy sex” positions.Illustrated by: Paola Delucca

Uttana Samputa (Closed Box) 



The second variation on “box” style, “closed box” seems even simpler (and likely more familiar) than the lateral version. It features the receiving partner lying down, stretched out, with the penetrating partner on top, pressing into their  hips. It’s basically just missionary style sex!

Frontal box


The third version of “the box,” also sometimes referred to as the “yawning” position, is another missionary style variation (you might see this position elsewhere referred to as “the hook”).  In this position, the receiving partner  folds their knees against their chest while the penetrating partner faces them in a doubled-up position.

Bhagnaka (Bent) 



If you’re the receiving partner, raise your thighs in the air like you just don’t care! Then clasp them with your arms, because holding your thighs up can get pretty tiring. From here, the penetrating  partner in this position is supposed to lift their knees, grip their partner, and go to town (not a good position if they have bad knees, BTW).


Jrimbhitaka (Gaping) 



In this sex style, the receiving partner  raises their legs and places them on their partner’s shoulders, making sure to align the joint of the knee with the shoulder. It’s essentially missionary with the receiving partner’s legs up. Depending on the bodily proportions of the people involved, it might be a bit difficult to achieve penetration while keeping the knees locked over the shoulders, but hey: Figuring out how to make it all work is half the fun of having sex, right?

Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?

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Jul-21-2025

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Love in 90 Days The Dating Recession Is Real — And It’s Actually Good News for You

Dating Recession in your life? Let me ask you something. You’ve built a remarkable life. A career that reflects your intelligence and drive. A home you love. A circle of friends who know your worth. You’ve weathered storms — professional setbacks, perhaps a divorce or the slow fade of a long relationship, the peculiar loneliness…

The post The Dating Recession Is Real — And It’s Actually Good News for You appeared first on Love in 90 Days.
Love in 90 Days - Dating Tips, Relationship Advice


Mar-13-2026
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